Goal Setting for ADHD Brains

Everyone struggles with achieving goals. We might start out feeling inspired and ready to tackle the plan, but after a few days or a week, we lose momentum and give up.

As an ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many clients who have a lot of difficulty with goal setting. These are some of the common reasons clients give for why goal setting doesn’t work for them:

·      They usually have an idea of what they want, but struggle to put the steps in place to achieve that goal.

·      Sometimes it just feels like extra work to take the time to think it through.

·      They’re afraid they will do all that work only to fail to stick with the plan.

·      They often lose interest and forget about their goals.

·      If they miss a day, it’s over, and they can’t get back on track.

What if it could be different? Planning reduces the demands on will power and gives clarity to your goal. I’ve found that when there’s structure, strategies and motivation, people can achieve their goals.

STRUCTURE: Objective, Motivation, Action Steps, Outcomes/Progress, Roadblocks

We start with the objective. What do you want to achieve? One of my student clients, Jack, wanted to work on improving his skateboarding skills. When I asked for a specific skill, he described a couple of tricks he wanted to master, so that became his objective.

The next step is to figure out your why- what’s your motivation? What are your reasons for pursuing this goal? Jack wanted to learn these two tricks so he could advance to more complex tricks. He couldn’t move on until he had these basic skills mastered.

The third requirement is to outline what steps you’ll take to achieve your goal. Pick two or three tasks you’ll work on that support your goal, and be sure to add a time limit. Jack decided he could skateboard every day for 60 minutes each day for the next four weeks. He would also continue researching the individual steps he needed to learn to perform each trick, and would break down the practice into smaller chunks to perfect each part.

Next up is to assess the outcomes. If you achieve this goal, what are you hoping will happen? Jack already knew that learning these specific tricks would allow him to add more content to his skateboarding routines. He wanted to feel confident before he could take on more advanced skills. He would measure his progress by keeping track on a calendar how much time he was able to spend practicing, noting when he was able to master each part of the tricks. Jack planned to review what went well and what he wanted to improve in his plan at the end of his practice each day.

One of the most powerful parts of this process is to consider what will get in your way and what to do about it. This is the ‘If…then’ strategy. Jack realized he might not be able to commit to the full 60 minutes every day, but he could set a minimum of 10 minutes for those days when 60 minutes was too much. He also considered whether he might get frustrated in the process. If he became frustrated, then his plan was to take a break, review what he was doing, and potentially ask someone for help. He set smaller goals for each practice, breaking down the steps of the trick. This helped him feel like he’d been successful, even if he didn’t land the trick as a whole that day.

STRATEGIES: Emotional Regulation, Support, Celebration

Jack knew himself well enough to know that he would get frustrated if he didn’t get the trick right away, so it was important that he had a plan to manage his emotions in the process. Recognizing that he might need to reset and calm down was a key factor in his ability to make progress. In the past, if he got upset and overwhelmed, he would quit. He didn’t want to quit this time.

Jack’s efforts were supported by his friends who were also learning to skateboard. They helped each other build their skills as a group, and celebrated when each one managed to successfully perform the trick.

MOTIVATION: Know Your Why, Reset, Keep Going

Think of your future self. A month from now, what will you wish you had done? Imagine what you will think or feel when you accomplish your goal. Coach yourself with positive self-talk to help your brain feel good about what you’re planning and doing so you can be where you want to be a month from now. Jack noticed that he was more supportive to his friends’ efforts than his own efforts. He stopped beating himself up when he didn’t land the trick. He focused on his progress instead of what he perceived as his failures.

What happens if you miss a day? Many people with ADHD lose momentum if they miss a day. Have some compassion for yourself and your efforts. Remember, you can try again tomorrow. Take the time to assess your progress and reflect on how far you’ve come since you started. Think of a small, achievable goal to motivate your brain to reset for the next day, and focus on that. Then think about just this week. How can you get your brain back on track towards your goal? Review your plan and make adjustments if necessary, then reset.  

Getting your goals on paper makes a difference. This provides clarity and concrete steps you’ll take to achieve your goal. It also gets it out of your head and in front of your face, where you’re more likely to pay attention to accomplishing it. Start with something highly achievable so you can build success with this process. Finally, reward your hardworking brain with some positive acknowledgement of your efforts, progress, and success.

Download your achievable goals worksheet.